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Do you give AND take?

Do you give AND take?

You guys came through again! I love it when you send me quotes that make me think. This one comes from Richard Dictor and the quote he gave me was, “Takers eat well, givers sleep well.”

I hear and think of the book, Give and Take by Adam Grant. Similar to the quote, he classified everybody as one or the other. This is why it made me think.

I don't feel it is fair to categorize people as one or the other. Why can't we be both? Personally, I believe we should be both. In fact, this idea is based in two of the 7 mindsets of a connector from my book, The Connector’s Advantage.

1. Have A Clear Vision.

This means you know what you want and are willing to ask for it. You accept the help that people are willing to give you. By doing this, you are both a giver and a receiver. You take the assistance offered and you make the person providing it feel valued and valuable - that would make you a giver. Be clear, ask, and allow somebody to feel valuable and provide value to you. Perhaps you can look at it as giving somebody the opportunity to feel how good it feels to be a giver.

2. Have A Generous Spirit.

A generous spirit you would think is simply a giver. You give because you can, because you want to and give without expectation of anything in return. This is one of the key Laws of Likability; the Law of Giving. I believe in being a giver. I also believe in being a taker, though I feel like taker has such a negative connotation. Let’s call it receiver (it’s less judgy.) Just as when you are willing to receive, it is also an act of giving. It's hard for people to accept help. But everybody wants to feel helpful. Everybody wants to add value. So by having a generous spirit, you are also receiving the good feelings that go along with that act of kindness.

I want to challenge everybody out there to think about something that they want, they're working on that they need and put it out there. Share it. Don't forget, there's a lot of different ways to make an ask that doesn't put the relationship at risk. Check out this blog post to refresh your memory. How to Ask for What You Want: 5 Easy Ways to Make a Request

Remember, if you don't ask, as I always say to my kids, the answer's no. When you ask, you immediately increase your odds of getting a yes. What do you want to ask for?


Michelle Tillis Lederman, (CSP, PCC, SCC, MBA) is an expert on workplace communications and relationships. Named by Forbes as one of the Top 25 Networking Experts, and one of the Top 30 Communications Professionals in the World by Global Gurus. Michelle is a speaker, trainer, executive coach, and author of four books including The Connector's Advantage and The 11 Laws of Likability. She was invited to the Marshall Goldsmith 100 Coaches Group, “100 Coaches Community brings together the world’s premier leadership thinkers” to seek ways to advance positive impact and give back to society. 

An executive coach, people expert, and CEO of Executive Essentials, Michelle inspires organizations and individuals to build real relationships and get real results. Having worked with fortune 500, non-profit, university and government clients she’s identified the common struggle… it’s people challenges. When asked by her young son what she does, she simply replied, “I help people work better together.” This purpose has driven her work with clients large and small including JPMorgan, J&J, Deutsche Bank, Michigan State University, MetLife, Sony, Ernst & Young, the Department of Environmental Protection, and Madison Square Garden.

She received her BS from Lehigh University, her MBA from Columbia Business School, holds the PCC designation from the International Coaching Federation, and is certified in Marshall Goldsmith’s Stakeholder Centered Coaching method. Executive Essentials is a certified Women Business Enterprise.

You may also contact Michelle at Leadership Speakers Bureau to schedule her for speaking or leadership engagements.


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