Is the Breakdown of the Family Really a Bad Thing?

Heather Graham is a Hollywood actress most well known for her portrayal of a porn star in the movie Boogie Nights. From there she has gone on to star in numerous other roles in the cinema and on TV. Some of her other high profile roles have been in such movies as Swingers, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, Killing Me Softly, Drugstore Cowboy, and Two Girls and a Guy.

Graham grew up in a strict Roman Catholic family. Her father was an FBI agent, and her mother was a teacher and author of children’s books. There is no indication that her childhood was particularly bad. However, as she became interested in acting as a teenager, her father was against her going to Hollywood and regularly told her that the entertainment industry was evil, and that Hollywood would “claim her soul.”

At age 18, she was in the movie “License to Drive,” where she played a role in which she became drunk while out on a date with her boyfriend. By her own testimony, following the premiere of that movie, living at home became “more difficult” and she decided to move out.

As her career progressed, in addition to becoming more liberal politically, she also drifted further away from her Catholic upbringing regarding sexual morality. She took numerous roles in movies that involved sex scenes, and truly felt she was doing women a service by helping free them from the sexual prudishness in society. As a side note, after leaving home, she also left the Catholic church, and seemingly is now a practitioner of Transcendental Meditation.

As it relates to her family, by her own account, she stopped talking to her parents when she turned 25, and is still estranged from them. They haven’t talked since 1997. Beyond that, she maintains that she is proud of the life she has created for herself. She also notes that her friends are proud of her, and she has become quite successful in her acting career, judging by the fact that she has houses both in New York and in Los Angeles.

The act of a child becoming independent of their parents is called emancipation. This is actually a normal thing as children attain the age of majority and move out of their parent’s house. But there is a phenomenon that is increasingly happening where not only is there emancipation, but also estrangement, as with what has happened between Graham and her parents.

There are several categories of reasons why this estrangement phenomenon is happening. Some of the reasons are because of bad parenting. Some reasons are due to rebellious children. And still other reasons relate to the turmoil that is going on in society. Recent research indicates that as many as 25% of all adult children in American society have become estranged from one or both parents.

The “society” category is an interesting study. The values of society over the last several generations have radically changed. Whereas in times past objective biblical values were considered the norm in society, in modern times the relativism of naturalistic belief has become dominant. What we see is that the morals and values of many parents and children come from entirely different worldview beliefs. There could not be a wider gap than this. What the parents consider true, right, and moral, the children consider false, wrong, and immoral – and vice versa. This is not to say that the parents are Christian and the children are not, it is just that the worldview beliefs (the particular beliefs people use to distinguish between reality and fantasy) of the different generations come from entirely different sources. And the hard part is, without understand worldview concepts, neither parent nor child even knows how to mentally process this. So the easy thing is for one or the other to simply break contact – and that is exactly what is happening.

Most people who are attempting to analyze what is going on attribute the problem to psychological or social sources. And, of course, those do come into play. But psychological and social matters are outward expressions of a problem that has its source much deeper. It starts with a spiritual problem that ultimately gets expressed within the individual and in society.

Of course, those who don’t recognize the existence of God (those who hold a naturalistic worldview) are not going to acknowledge even the existence of a spiritual reality, and will reject this idea on its face. But that doesn’t change reality. Satan exists, and those who reject God are going to be influenced by him. With that, they also reject the values and morals God has revealed to be true and right, and it spills over into the lives of individuals and society.

There is only one way to effectively address spiritual problems, and that is with spiritual solutions. The only real cure is for people to enter into a personal relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ. The spiritual change from that transformation is what elicits the outward psychological and social changes that are necessary to cure the disease of estrangement within families. If you really want to solve the estrangement problems that exist in you and your family, or in those of people you care about, it will be necessary to drill down to the spiritual source of the problem.

[In general, Christians are not up to speed concerning worldview concepts – and this contains the knowledge base that is able to help people deal with all of the evil that currently exists in society. If you would like to host the One-Day Seminary for Everyday Christians (a worldview training opportunity) for your church or Christian organization, contact us at info@marketfaith.org.]

Freddy Davis is the president of MarketFaith Ministries. He is the author of numerous books entitled The Truth Mirage, Rules for Christians Radicals, Liberalism vs. Conservatism, and his latest book Shattering the Truth Mirage and has a background as an international missionary, pastor, radio host, worldview trainer, and entrepreneur. Freddy is a graduate of Florida State University with a BS in Communication, and holds MDiv and DMin degrees from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. He is a popular speaker, particularly on the topic of worldview and its practical implications for the Christian life. He lives in Tallahassee, FL, with his wife Deborah.

You may also contact Freddy at Leadership Speakers Bureau to schedule him for speaking or leadership engagements.

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